joe (nolegs) wrote in shitly_speakers,

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The Truth about my summer vacation that I took in October and every day the week before last.

Dir Sir or Madam in control of Customer Service for the United Nations International Breweries Commission,

I woke up this morning and what was waiting for me? Wham! Bag of dicks to the head. Defeated like another Jehova's Witness or the Cleveland Brown's Aaron Shea (defeated by a Bengal no less). It's like the Flood of Noah is coming and you try to drown yourself in the bathroom sink of a gas station in a place where tumbleweeds scuff against the door and you wonder, "is somebody coming in--tapping at the metal? Will they see me supplicating the rust stains and bracing the cool slick porcelain? Maybe it's that Jehova's Witness. . ." But Noah's riding in on a surf board and the tumbleweeds are rounded up like WW2 Japanese and sold somewhere somehow. That never happens and you can't drown yourself in a sink that easily. Besides, who wants to be entombed in a gas station? Terrorists; sitting there facing east somehow and humming the bag of dick to the head blues while I try to look the other way and just drop my bomb with minimal 'plunk.' If a Neo-Nazi Group like the Japanese Diving Team can do it so can I. Let's just hope Zeron Flemister doesn't World Trade Center the Browns' GLORIOUS record or do worse by the Devil then Shea--we've got half a yard of Sheckles on this cocksucker down in the typing pool.

Love Peace and Soul,

XeiXei el-Emam ibn Quan;
The Mystical Hairabibi

cc: Butch Davis, Heir Trainerdirektor - Cleveland Browns
cc: Lord Brown, CEO British Petroleum
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